10 Things Only People in Debt Say
1. "It’s not that bad. Everyone’s in debt!"
It’s the rallying cry of the modern debtor, like a comforting mantra that lulls you into complacency. Of course, no one actually wants to compare credit scores—unless it’s lower than theirs.
2. "The system is rigged. They want you in debt."
The conspiracy theorist of the debt world. They’ve cracked the code, man. Banks, credit card companies, even the government—they’re all in on it, setting traps with 0% interest for six months and sneaky fine print. Debt isn’t a personal failure; it’s a societal design flaw.
3. "I’m waiting for the student loan forgiveness... any day now."
A mythical creature, like Bigfoot or a healthy work-life balance. They've read every article on it but know deep down it might never come.
4. "Credit cards are just modern-day survival tools."
If you squint hard enough, that maxed-out Visa really is a life raft. It’s like Bear Grylls for the broke—just more paperwork and APR.
5. "It’s good debt. Like, this is all strategic."
Apparently, there’s some kind of noble hierarchy in the debt world. The enlightened debtors want you to know they're playing the long game… and totally winning.
6. "I have a five-year plan to get out of this."
Translation: They will re-evaluate their debt in five years and likely extend the plan another five years. The real victory is in the planning, right?
7. "You know, if it weren’t for the interest, I’d be fine."
As if interest is this abstract concept that arrived uninvited, like a third cousin at Thanksgiving. They’re really crushing the debt thing… until math shows up.
8. "I’m a few payments behind, but the universe has a way of working things out."
You gotta admire the optimism. Maybe they’re envisioning a cosmic bailout or an astrological alignment that magically wipes out debt.
9. "Can I pay in installments?"
This phrase is the universal code for, "I don’t have the money, but I’ll act like I do if you just give me a bit of time." Think of it as financial performance art.
10. "Debt-free? That’s just a construct, man."
They’ve gone full existential now. Why worry about debt when the entire concept of money is a human invention? They’ll be sipping lattes while pondering the illusion of fiscal responsibility.